31 and counting

So I just turned 31 and I am really happy to be the age that I am. Don't get me wrong I do wish I was a kid from time to time. I don't want to have the adult worries that I have, but such as life. Anyway, I love being 31. I feel like I have been learning a lot since I have turned 30. I do notice a transition in my life where a lot of my priorities have changed. I think I am transitioning myself to a different place in life. I think I am finding who I am again and what I contribute to this world. I lost myself a while ago and I have to get me back. I am working toward that.

Now that my birthday has officially past I have a lot to think about. I gave myself the deadline of this bday to see if I had even a glimpse of hope finding a job here in the Chicago land area and if not, then I would take a huge leap and move out to California. I have family out there, so I have a place to stay. So I have been looking for work there as well as here. Well no job and I don't feel like there is really a lot hope in that. So I guess I am going to California. Wow it is amazing to even type that. I am so nervous and excited at the same time. I don't know what I am going to do over there. I have time to find a job there, so I am not to worried about it. It is going to be weird moving away like this. I will be away from my immediate family, but at least with family and I would have to start over when it comes to friends. The last time I was there I didn't really make any friends and to be honest it was hell for me, maybe this time will be different. I will miss the friends I have here, but I have to do what I have to do. I don't know what I will be doing, but the thought of it is very exciting to me. I need something new, but something I am familiar with as well. I know it sound strange, but I am a strange person.  What shall happen in California? Will I find a job? Will it be just as much of a struggle as it is here? Who knows, but I can't wait to find out.

I have to say though I thought by this age I would have it together. I thought I would have a great job with no signs of being laid off, but I guess that wasn't in the cards for me. I would love my career already where I can travel the world and live out of my suitcase and be home only on weekends. I love that life and I want it before I get married and have kids. I will still travel for work, but I will also be a good wife and mother. I would make it to all the sporting events cause all my kids are boys and still say good night no matter where I am. I love being that power professional and doing it big like that. I am just trying to be patient until I get there. Now in having this great life I would have to sacrifice a lot at the same time. I couldn't do all the church stuff that I do and I def wouldn't be able to see my friends, but what is new there. I don't spend time with them that much now. I would miss my church stuff because I do have a passion for it. I would miss my friends cause they do mean a lot to me. It's the life I have always dreamed of and I would like to experience at least for a little while.

There have been so many dreams when it comes to my career and I just want one of them to work out for me. I know I have to start making some moves here, so here I go. 31 is a new beginning for me and I can't wait to see what it has to bring.