You know I don't really consider myself a needy person or a person who really asks for too much and if you are reading this and I am wrong, please feel free to let me know. I am generally down for the cause and ready to ride or die for my people and I know that my peeps would do the same. There is just one that I am pretty sure isn't down for this cause. Like I said I will do whatever, but it sure seems like you are not willing to do the same thing. If it seems a little inconvenient for you, then its a no go, but its ok if it inconveniences me. When I suggest something to you its always a no cause it seems like to much hard work. Who knew I was the only one who is suppose to do all the hard work. Don't get me wrong there are small times you actually seem concerned but that is really rare!!!

I feel like such an idiot for pushing myself for you and it only concerns you if it effects you in some way. If it doesn't, then OH WELL.  I know you care for me, but your actions are saying something that is different. You think I am frustrated at you and no I am not, I am frustrated at myself. I am frustrated because I could really use you right now to be there for me and understand what I am going through at this moment, but I know you can't be there for me like that. I just don't think you really know how to or really know how to navigate. Maybe that is my fault, but I could really use you to really try.

You know I think it's just me and I know better and I know who I can count on and I don't know why I am fixated on you being there. So, I am giving up. I will go to my regular "family" and soulmate! I know they are there. I am no longer going to push myself to the point of breaking. It is over!